As I continue to reconnect with some incredibly intriguing friends from my childhood, I'm finding out just how LITTLE we really changed on the inside. During childhood, I suppose it's part of the process to experiment with one's own identity and thus your outward demeanor. Trying a million new personas as we discover our own individuality. As we work our way through our school years, we make new friends, lose contact with old ones, have new relationships, move to new schools, get slapped by ex-girlfriends (::rubs his cheek::)...forever reinventing who we are in the process..at least we thought we were. I think no matter what color we change out hair color to (hahaha...it was green), no matter what music we stuck in our tape decks. No matter what reason we stopped drinking TAB soda for...perhaps our true nature existed long before we even realized we could TRY to alter it.
Sure...we all did some stupid stuff, and in the process, maybe we sent out the wrong message about ourselves to the people around us, but I think in the end, that the journey of trial and error helped us all realize that WHO we are on the inside...never really was the issue at all. Without those experiments in altering our demeanor...could we have really been able to flesh out the actual individual hidden under the disguise. Life doesn't come with an instruction manual, and each of us it seems, figured it all out for ourselves..ultimately adding to just how unique we've all become (besides...if there was a manual, it would be an awfully boring place to live).
I can recall a thousand stories about hundreds of people I use to know (I guess technically...I still do). People assumed lost from my life for countless reasons involving all manner of plot twists in the "game" of LIFE (maybe, whatever it was they needed to teach me, I learned the first time we met in life (just thought of another post)). However, each time I rediscover someone from my past, I seem to find that even if they've changed their demeanor a little...their nature is just as I remembered it. I guess we were, who we needed to be, long before we needed to be them.
Showing posts with label Philosophy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Philosophy. Show all posts
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
Sometimes It Doesn't Need To Be The Same
Sometimes it just becomes all too easy to give in and walk the beaten path, follow the rules, become what your expected to be. However, there will always be those moments, those experiences, with those certain people, that will make your world a different place. They seem to effect your ability to stay inside the lines, make you see that sometimes it really may be better on the other side. If each choice we make creates our path through existence, could it be too much to for one to look back and see the other paths we could have chosen had we only seen from a different perspective. Would the pain be too much to bare, would the visions effect your reality in unforeseen ways, ways that could cause even more pain and trouble. If everything DOES happen for a reason...was it the RIGHT reason? Were the choices made then, really the best decision, or simply just the easiest?
Life seems to throw A LOT of curve balls, it will never leave you to an existence where you can't just hang on for the ride. Don't let those barriers prevent you from following the path you WANT to lead, and don't always allow your head to make all the decisions, because sometimes your heart is all too willing to disagree. I won't lie, life can be incredibly trying, and the issues each one of us face can seem debilitating at times. Think of them as trials and tests, a chance to face your demons, exposing themselves finally, so that they can be dealt with on your terms. If you turn away, if you allow the monster to dictate your actions, to mandate your life, then you have already lost.
Dreams Be Dreams
...well summer came along and then it was gone
and so was she but not from him
because he followed her just to let her know
her dreams are dreams
and all this living is so much harder then it seems
but girl don't let your dreams be dreams
you know this living is not so hard as it seems
don't let your
dreams be dreams
your dreams be dreams...
-Jack Johnson
Life seems to throw A LOT of curve balls, it will never leave you to an existence where you can't just hang on for the ride. Don't let those barriers prevent you from following the path you WANT to lead, and don't always allow your head to make all the decisions, because sometimes your heart is all too willing to disagree. I won't lie, life can be incredibly trying, and the issues each one of us face can seem debilitating at times. Think of them as trials and tests, a chance to face your demons, exposing themselves finally, so that they can be dealt with on your terms. If you turn away, if you allow the monster to dictate your actions, to mandate your life, then you have already lost.
Dreams Be Dreams
...well summer came along and then it was gone
and so was she but not from him
because he followed her just to let her know
her dreams are dreams
and all this living is so much harder then it seems
but girl don't let your dreams be dreams
you know this living is not so hard as it seems
don't let your
dreams be dreams
your dreams be dreams...
-Jack Johnson
Thursday, May 10, 2007
The Innocence Of Inspiration Lost
Inspiration for the creative, is like the lifeblood of their existence. To lose touch with such a gift, is like going deaf or blind, and endless hollow feeling in the deepest parts of one's essence. No one seems to know why inspiration ebbs and flows, but it seems at least possible, to find it once it's lost.
For me, I always wanted to be an artist, to create amazing beauty with nothing more then my own imagination. I guess that's what made it so easy for my teachers to push me so hard in public school, down that path that I seemed almost destined to travel. I wanted to make that passion for color and shape a career, making it a very easy choice to pursue a degree in the Fine Arts.
College however did little to encourage that inspiration. My art became work, it became a constant series of trials designed to prepare me for a life of artistic compromise at the hands of corporate executives and fickle clients. Although I finished school with pride in my heart and the drive to succeed at that which I always strived to become, I had lost my innocence. Art was no longer my escape from reality, it was the bane of that reality. No longer was playing with color and shape a chance to express myself, it was a job, that although it paid the bills, it did little to help me find the quiet inside my mind.
I'd like to tell you that there's an easy fix, that a single event can simply open the flood gates, and all those unique thoughts that once motivated your creativity will come cascading back into your consciousness, but that would be a lie. I can tell you, that it will return, even if in short bursts, it will come to you, especially when you least expect it to. After all, it never really left, it only went on holiday. I've found that events in your life will trigger the ebbs and flows, while an illness can sap it from you, the trials of that experience can just as easily return them to you when it's over. The loss of a loved one can make a soul go numb with pain, but those memories you shared can bring forth new ideas and renewed motivation.
My advice, never give up on what inspires you to be creative. It was always there for you, be there for "it" when the inspiration returns to your veins. Sometimes it can be a struggle, almost like your forcing it, that's just the habit forming, tomorrow it could be second nature again.
For me, I tend to find my inspiration not in a crowded Art Department, developing next year's hot selling soccer ball, but in painting and drawing for others. This past Christmas, I did a piece for my unofficial brother-in-law as a gift. I took a few days of well deserve peace, and I was happier for it. I found my REAL imagination that week, not the formally educated and corporate influenced nonsense I'm forced to tap each and every day.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: Don't give up on it, it will be there when it's time.
For me, I always wanted to be an artist, to create amazing beauty with nothing more then my own imagination. I guess that's what made it so easy for my teachers to push me so hard in public school, down that path that I seemed almost destined to travel. I wanted to make that passion for color and shape a career, making it a very easy choice to pursue a degree in the Fine Arts.
College however did little to encourage that inspiration. My art became work, it became a constant series of trials designed to prepare me for a life of artistic compromise at the hands of corporate executives and fickle clients. Although I finished school with pride in my heart and the drive to succeed at that which I always strived to become, I had lost my innocence. Art was no longer my escape from reality, it was the bane of that reality. No longer was playing with color and shape a chance to express myself, it was a job, that although it paid the bills, it did little to help me find the quiet inside my mind.
I'd like to tell you that there's an easy fix, that a single event can simply open the flood gates, and all those unique thoughts that once motivated your creativity will come cascading back into your consciousness, but that would be a lie. I can tell you, that it will return, even if in short bursts, it will come to you, especially when you least expect it to. After all, it never really left, it only went on holiday. I've found that events in your life will trigger the ebbs and flows, while an illness can sap it from you, the trials of that experience can just as easily return them to you when it's over. The loss of a loved one can make a soul go numb with pain, but those memories you shared can bring forth new ideas and renewed motivation.
My advice, never give up on what inspires you to be creative. It was always there for you, be there for "it" when the inspiration returns to your veins. Sometimes it can be a struggle, almost like your forcing it, that's just the habit forming, tomorrow it could be second nature again.
For me, I tend to find my inspiration not in a crowded Art Department, developing next year's hot selling soccer ball, but in painting and drawing for others. This past Christmas, I did a piece for my unofficial brother-in-law as a gift. I took a few days of well deserve peace, and I was happier for it. I found my REAL imagination that week, not the formally educated and corporate influenced nonsense I'm forced to tap each and every day.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: Don't give up on it, it will be there when it's time.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Fighting Grendel
It seems each of us, in our own way, fights an enemy we can never truly overcome. Everyday we wake up to our very own Grendel, who lurks behind every corner, waiting to gain the upper hand in a war of against ourselves. This enemy within seems to take on countless forms, different for each of us. For some it can be chronic illness, for others the pain of loss, and yet still others who now stand on the front lines of a war in a foreign land, far from their loved ones. Each moment of pleasure can remind us of that hidden pain. Each perfect day, overshadowed by that struggle within.
Like the hero Beowulf, we live (in part) to deal with this monster, fighting a battle we ourselves perceive as hopeless, yet we fight all the same. Forever trying to defeat, an enemy that at least in some way, is part of who we are.
For me...I face an enemy that although I can scare, I can never kill...for it will surely kill me first.
Two years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Having the illness makes me one of 18.2 million Americans who have the disease, and for anyone who doesn't know much about the illness, there is no cure. The disease is caused when your body doesn't produce enough insulin to break down the sugars in food, or you body simply builds a resistance to it's own insulin. The disease itself is not life threatening, however the countless complications caused by the illness can cause all manner of major medical conditions, including: Heart disease, Kidney failure, Liver damage, Heart attack and stroke, ultimately leading to death.
I guess you can say it was a matter of when, not if, for me. All three of my living grandparents have the disease, an uncle, an aunt, and my mother. With a disease that is transmitted by genetics, I was doomed to possess it.
Initially, I was incredibly angry about the news, I struggled with the ever popular "Why me?" question. However, I turned all that energy into researching and learning about Diabetes. Using knowledge as ammunition in my own personal war. I exercise more then I ever have, and eat like someone who owns stock in Whole Foods Stores. Since being diagnosed, I have had no symptoms, no complications, but everyday I still wake up to my Grendel. Despite every effort I make to contain the monster, it isn't going anywhere soon.
A friend of mine, posted a bulletin about deathclock.com today, my results said I'd live until 2071. I laughed, and then decided I'd write this blog entry, in defiance to this damn disease, it's something I rarely speak of, I think this is the first time, I've spoken in a public place about it. Maybe it took those stupid results...to further inspire me to overcome that which it seems I can never truly defeat. Thanks Lisa.
Like the hero Beowulf, we live (in part) to deal with this monster, fighting a battle we ourselves perceive as hopeless, yet we fight all the same. Forever trying to defeat, an enemy that at least in some way, is part of who we are.
For me...I face an enemy that although I can scare, I can never kill...for it will surely kill me first.
Two years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Having the illness makes me one of 18.2 million Americans who have the disease, and for anyone who doesn't know much about the illness, there is no cure. The disease is caused when your body doesn't produce enough insulin to break down the sugars in food, or you body simply builds a resistance to it's own insulin. The disease itself is not life threatening, however the countless complications caused by the illness can cause all manner of major medical conditions, including: Heart disease, Kidney failure, Liver damage, Heart attack and stroke, ultimately leading to death.
I guess you can say it was a matter of when, not if, for me. All three of my living grandparents have the disease, an uncle, an aunt, and my mother. With a disease that is transmitted by genetics, I was doomed to possess it.
Initially, I was incredibly angry about the news, I struggled with the ever popular "Why me?" question. However, I turned all that energy into researching and learning about Diabetes. Using knowledge as ammunition in my own personal war. I exercise more then I ever have, and eat like someone who owns stock in Whole Foods Stores. Since being diagnosed, I have had no symptoms, no complications, but everyday I still wake up to my Grendel. Despite every effort I make to contain the monster, it isn't going anywhere soon.
A friend of mine, posted a bulletin about deathclock.com today, my results said I'd live until 2071. I laughed, and then decided I'd write this blog entry, in defiance to this damn disease, it's something I rarely speak of, I think this is the first time, I've spoken in a public place about it. Maybe it took those stupid results...to further inspire me to overcome that which it seems I can never truly defeat. Thanks Lisa.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Never Letting Go Of The Past
Have you ever considered what your life might have become, if only you had made different choices? Daydreamed about the million or so alternate realities that might exist somewhere else, where even the smallest decision may have produced a completely different life for you.
I can't helped but think about how crossing outside the lines, can effect the outcome so drastically. How sometimes you find yourself standing on your chosen path, at a point where it intersects with a road you could have potentially taken, but opted out of. Life seems so full of these instances that grant you new perspective into your past for just a glimmering moment, long enough to allow the dreams to form, to envision what might have been.
Some may say that such a person simply dwells on the past, avoiding the present, to exist in a state of comfort over what one might perceive to be the only situation they have control over. However, if life is simply a collection of our experiences, I say use what you have learned to better help you take on the thousands of choices you make each day. Consider how much a single day's decisions can so drastically alter your entire existence. Without the wisdom you possess from going out and taking on the world, how can you expect to choose your path through the web of choices you make each day.
Life is unkind, and each day brings about new challenges that we must face regardless. We sometimes tend to make rash choices through the course of a day, in hopes that their outcomes are irrelevant tomorrow. We procrastinate when it is time to make those "difficult" decisions that may or may not matter minutes later, in hopes that the "correct" answer will simply present itself to us.
Sometimes I hear people talk about how badly they try to block out their past, or actively attempt to forget the poor choices they've made and their subsequent outcomes. However, at the same time, do they not still use those vital memories to better help them avoid new failure in their present, tapping those experiences and using that acquired knowledge to prevent themselves from repeating the same mistakes again. Don't neglect your past simply because it might hurt to think about it, use it as a tool to make new choices and transcend beyond whatever it may be that you regret. Although no one can change their past, they can at least use its lessons to make for themselves a better future.
Who knows, by embracing those memories that cause you the most pain when they're recalled, perhaps you will find new meaning behind why your world turned out the way it has. Sometimes, you may even find that those situations that seemed to have caused you so much suffering, with a new perspective, now bring a smile to your face, and the confidence you'll need to take on tomorrow.
I can't helped but think about how crossing outside the lines, can effect the outcome so drastically. How sometimes you find yourself standing on your chosen path, at a point where it intersects with a road you could have potentially taken, but opted out of. Life seems so full of these instances that grant you new perspective into your past for just a glimmering moment, long enough to allow the dreams to form, to envision what might have been.
Some may say that such a person simply dwells on the past, avoiding the present, to exist in a state of comfort over what one might perceive to be the only situation they have control over. However, if life is simply a collection of our experiences, I say use what you have learned to better help you take on the thousands of choices you make each day. Consider how much a single day's decisions can so drastically alter your entire existence. Without the wisdom you possess from going out and taking on the world, how can you expect to choose your path through the web of choices you make each day.
Life is unkind, and each day brings about new challenges that we must face regardless. We sometimes tend to make rash choices through the course of a day, in hopes that their outcomes are irrelevant tomorrow. We procrastinate when it is time to make those "difficult" decisions that may or may not matter minutes later, in hopes that the "correct" answer will simply present itself to us.
Sometimes I hear people talk about how badly they try to block out their past, or actively attempt to forget the poor choices they've made and their subsequent outcomes. However, at the same time, do they not still use those vital memories to better help them avoid new failure in their present, tapping those experiences and using that acquired knowledge to prevent themselves from repeating the same mistakes again. Don't neglect your past simply because it might hurt to think about it, use it as a tool to make new choices and transcend beyond whatever it may be that you regret. Although no one can change their past, they can at least use its lessons to make for themselves a better future.
Who knows, by embracing those memories that cause you the most pain when they're recalled, perhaps you will find new meaning behind why your world turned out the way it has. Sometimes, you may even find that those situations that seemed to have caused you so much suffering, with a new perspective, now bring a smile to your face, and the confidence you'll need to take on tomorrow.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Why You Need To Figure Life Out For Yourself
I grew up a good little Catholic boy (at least in my demeanor), I attended church (somewhat forced by my parents), played altar boy a few times, helped out with Sunday school, and participated in CCD class. In all that time, I listened for answers that it seemed, I was never really given. Your expected to believe blindly in your faith, but they don't ever tell you why. Religions frighten us with eternal damnation, and horrors unspeakable. They tell us to follow these suggested guidelines without question, but they can't even agree on which guidelines to follow.
Attending college changed all those questions, and although it presented new ones, I at least felt I possessed the power to find my own answers. At school, I decided I'd minor in Art History, afterall, why be ignorant of the past, if it is what we use to figure out our future. My professors were very strict about our perception of the works we looked at, they believed (as I do now), that in order to understand the artwork, you must understand and respect the people that created it. In order to understand those people, you must understand their cultures, their traditions and their beliefs. I therefore found myself studying as much theology and philosophy as I did actual artwork.
I was fortunate enough to have an academic advisor who honestly cared for my success, and fought very hard to supply me with the knowledge I needed to understand what it is I was looking for. She guided me into electives that could help bring enlightenment to my core studies, and gave me access to resources that the average student tends to overlook in their research.
During this time, I found an incredible amount of information pertaining to early Catholicism, Islam, Judaism, Daoism, Hinduism, Buddhism (as well as countless other religions) and the roots of those belief systems. I found myself uncovering the answers some people would rather have unknown. The details of acts done in the name of faith, but can only be described as unspeakable evils, inflicted onto humanity simply because of people's blind faith in their masters. From those days forward, I sought my own answers.
my ideas:
Why would we exist on a planet, alone it seems, in a universe so large (seems like an awfully big waste of space), unless whoever put us here, had a reason for keeping us isolated. Maybe this place is more then just the third rock from our sun. Maybe the reason we a forced to witness the abominations of evil, is so that we can truly understand the good in this world. Why would we always have to face so much terrible tragedy in our lives, unless it was there to help us to appreciate all the wonderful things we hold so dear in our hearts.
Would it help to explain why we all seem to consider life so difficult, a challenge each and every day. How we struggle to exist, to make do, and possibly make our single presence known in a sea of unique individuals. Are we here, in this place, filled with such incredible experiences such as love, compassion and fellowship, and yet also more then filled with the horrors of hate, greed and loss, to learn and understand some intangible lesson.
Perhaps if life is but a single lesson, a lesson we learn through our many experiences (good and bad), then when we finally understand, wouldn't it be time to move on. Could death, in all it's randomness, be explained by simply understanding that maybe, when one person finally figures out why they are here to learn, they die, only to be reborn anew, ready to take on the challenge of learning the next of these universal lessons.
Maybe there are different lessons, understood at different times, in separate lives. Could that explain why we are all so very unique from one another. Perhaps that might explain why in the span of our delicate lives, we get the opportunity to meet so many others, unique in their own ways, yet invaluable in the relationships (good or bad) you share with them. Would this explain why our friends, our family and our neighbors interweave their lives with our own, so that we may help to teach what it is, that we need to understand in this life.
I can't help but look in retrospect to the life I have lived thus far, and think about the people that have come and gone through my life, and how those people, no matter how much or how little we interacted, have impacted my own understanding of who I am and where I am going.
I believe I can be proud of my efforts, and I can appreciate everything I have been fortunate to see and do, although it seems, there is still so much that still needs to be done in this life. I'm not content with simple existence, I've sacrificed some of the material desires of our society, so that I can focus my efforts on my experiences. I believe you can never stop yourself from learning, and that's why the Master's degree looms on the horizon. I give thanks for the opportunity to meet so many people in my job, and my travels, so that I can continue to broaden my understanding of humanity and what my role is in the grand scheme of some infallible power.
Attending college changed all those questions, and although it presented new ones, I at least felt I possessed the power to find my own answers. At school, I decided I'd minor in Art History, afterall, why be ignorant of the past, if it is what we use to figure out our future. My professors were very strict about our perception of the works we looked at, they believed (as I do now), that in order to understand the artwork, you must understand and respect the people that created it. In order to understand those people, you must understand their cultures, their traditions and their beliefs. I therefore found myself studying as much theology and philosophy as I did actual artwork.
I was fortunate enough to have an academic advisor who honestly cared for my success, and fought very hard to supply me with the knowledge I needed to understand what it is I was looking for. She guided me into electives that could help bring enlightenment to my core studies, and gave me access to resources that the average student tends to overlook in their research.
During this time, I found an incredible amount of information pertaining to early Catholicism, Islam, Judaism, Daoism, Hinduism, Buddhism (as well as countless other religions) and the roots of those belief systems. I found myself uncovering the answers some people would rather have unknown. The details of acts done in the name of faith, but can only be described as unspeakable evils, inflicted onto humanity simply because of people's blind faith in their masters. From those days forward, I sought my own answers.
my ideas:
Why would we exist on a planet, alone it seems, in a universe so large (seems like an awfully big waste of space), unless whoever put us here, had a reason for keeping us isolated. Maybe this place is more then just the third rock from our sun. Maybe the reason we a forced to witness the abominations of evil, is so that we can truly understand the good in this world. Why would we always have to face so much terrible tragedy in our lives, unless it was there to help us to appreciate all the wonderful things we hold so dear in our hearts.
Would it help to explain why we all seem to consider life so difficult, a challenge each and every day. How we struggle to exist, to make do, and possibly make our single presence known in a sea of unique individuals. Are we here, in this place, filled with such incredible experiences such as love, compassion and fellowship, and yet also more then filled with the horrors of hate, greed and loss, to learn and understand some intangible lesson.
Perhaps if life is but a single lesson, a lesson we learn through our many experiences (good and bad), then when we finally understand, wouldn't it be time to move on. Could death, in all it's randomness, be explained by simply understanding that maybe, when one person finally figures out why they are here to learn, they die, only to be reborn anew, ready to take on the challenge of learning the next of these universal lessons.
Maybe there are different lessons, understood at different times, in separate lives. Could that explain why we are all so very unique from one another. Perhaps that might explain why in the span of our delicate lives, we get the opportunity to meet so many others, unique in their own ways, yet invaluable in the relationships (good or bad) you share with them. Would this explain why our friends, our family and our neighbors interweave their lives with our own, so that we may help to teach what it is, that we need to understand in this life.
I can't help but look in retrospect to the life I have lived thus far, and think about the people that have come and gone through my life, and how those people, no matter how much or how little we interacted, have impacted my own understanding of who I am and where I am going.
I believe I can be proud of my efforts, and I can appreciate everything I have been fortunate to see and do, although it seems, there is still so much that still needs to be done in this life. I'm not content with simple existence, I've sacrificed some of the material desires of our society, so that I can focus my efforts on my experiences. I believe you can never stop yourself from learning, and that's why the Master's degree looms on the horizon. I give thanks for the opportunity to meet so many people in my job, and my travels, so that I can continue to broaden my understanding of humanity and what my role is in the grand scheme of some infallible power.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
My Own Dreaming Tree Just Needed Some Water
When did you give up on you dreams, allowed them to become simply dreams? Fading into inexistence as the sun's rays began to project through the windows of your bedroom. Waking each day to routine and monotony, following the path that so many other robots have walked before you, trudging through life with heavy hearts, ignorant of the truest desires of their souls. Those dreams...just a distant afterthought from another typical morning.
When did you first fail to achieve the goals you set before you? Stopping to catch your breath as the others you once ran with in tandum sped past you in pursuit of their our goals. The first time you found yourself satisfied with the results of your shortcomings, turned your back on the prize, and settled for second place. Not because you wanted to, but because you believed you didn't have another choice.
When did loss first hunt you down and expose you to it's deepest sorrow? Forcing you to your knees while you attempted to rationalize it's appearance in your life and the need for it's existence. Seeping into your heart and educating you about the darkest lesson life is obligated to teach us all. Loss that seems to create a void that no other can ever hope to fill, leaving an emptiness inside you for the rest of your days.
When did you stop caring? Failing to shed tears for someone or something that was well deserving of your sympathy. Leaving another to fend for themselves while you pondered over your own needs with little remorse from your cold heart, using their hardship to help you prevent your own.
When did the world turn it's back on you? The moment you felt loneliness for the very first time, didn't have a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, a voice of assurance in you life. The world grew darker and the days longer as you found out that your world can so drastically shrink around you in a matter of seconds, leaving you to fend on your own.
When did the quiet inside your mind disappear? Life filling with complexities you never fathomed before. No matter how hard you tried to catch up with your life, it always seemed one step ahead, and the peace of mind you so desparetly wanted, was just out of your reach.
When was the first time you felt jealousy? Wishing for the life of another, while all the while slowly sacrificing your own individuality. Doubting your own self worth, so that you could view life through a different perspective. Penalizing yourself because your life did not meet your specifications, and rather then work to change it, you wished life was an easier map to read.
When did the rage of hate first rise up into you? The world turning crimson as your blood boiled inside your soul and unleashed the darkest emotions the soul possesses. Wishing destruction on another, pondering revenge, and when the intial pain receeds, coming to terms with the cataclymic changes that reshaped your own personal universe.
When was the last time you took the time to watch the sunrise over the horizon, and allowed your soul to recharge, remembering that everything else can be overcome, because you truly are invincible as long as you live. For me, that day was today, and those dreams of mine, will never be just dreams.
THE DREAMING TREE
Standing here
The old man said to me,
"Long before these crowded streets
Here stood my dreaming tree."
Below it he would sit
For hours at a time
Now progress takes away
What forever took to find
And now he's falling hard
He feels the falling dark
How he longs to be
Beneath his dreaming tree
Conquered fear to climb
A moment froze in time
When the girl who first he kissed
Promised him she'd be his
Remembered mother's words
There beneath the tree
"No matter what the world
You'll always be my baby."
"Mommy come quick,
The dreaming tree has died."
The air is growing thick
A fear he cannot hide
The dreaming tree has died
Oh, have you no pity?
This thing I do
I do not deny it
All through this smile
As crooked as danger
I do not deny
I know in my mind
I would leave you now
If I had the strength to
I would leave you up
To your own devices
Will you not talk?
Can you take pity?
I don't ask much
But won't you speak, please?
From the start
She knew she had it made
Easy up 'til then
For sure she'd make the grade
Adorers came in hordes
To lay down in her wake
Gave it all she had
But treasures slowly fade
Now she's falling hard
Feels the fall of dark
How did this fall apart?
She drinks to fill it up
A smile of sweetest flowers
Wilted so and soured
Black tears stain the cheeks
That once were so admired
She thinks when she was small
There on her father's knee
How he had promised her,
"You'll always be my baby."
"Daddy come quick,
The dreaming tree has died
I can't find my way home
There is no place to hide
The dreaming tree has died."
Oh, if I had the strength to
I would leave you up
To your own devices
Will you not talk?
Can you take pity?
I don't ask much
But won't you speak, please?
Take me back, take me back, take me back...
Save me please.
-Dave Matthews
When did you first fail to achieve the goals you set before you? Stopping to catch your breath as the others you once ran with in tandum sped past you in pursuit of their our goals. The first time you found yourself satisfied with the results of your shortcomings, turned your back on the prize, and settled for second place. Not because you wanted to, but because you believed you didn't have another choice.
When did loss first hunt you down and expose you to it's deepest sorrow? Forcing you to your knees while you attempted to rationalize it's appearance in your life and the need for it's existence. Seeping into your heart and educating you about the darkest lesson life is obligated to teach us all. Loss that seems to create a void that no other can ever hope to fill, leaving an emptiness inside you for the rest of your days.
When did you stop caring? Failing to shed tears for someone or something that was well deserving of your sympathy. Leaving another to fend for themselves while you pondered over your own needs with little remorse from your cold heart, using their hardship to help you prevent your own.
When did the world turn it's back on you? The moment you felt loneliness for the very first time, didn't have a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, a voice of assurance in you life. The world grew darker and the days longer as you found out that your world can so drastically shrink around you in a matter of seconds, leaving you to fend on your own.
When did the quiet inside your mind disappear? Life filling with complexities you never fathomed before. No matter how hard you tried to catch up with your life, it always seemed one step ahead, and the peace of mind you so desparetly wanted, was just out of your reach.
When was the first time you felt jealousy? Wishing for the life of another, while all the while slowly sacrificing your own individuality. Doubting your own self worth, so that you could view life through a different perspective. Penalizing yourself because your life did not meet your specifications, and rather then work to change it, you wished life was an easier map to read.
When did the rage of hate first rise up into you? The world turning crimson as your blood boiled inside your soul and unleashed the darkest emotions the soul possesses. Wishing destruction on another, pondering revenge, and when the intial pain receeds, coming to terms with the cataclymic changes that reshaped your own personal universe.
When was the last time you took the time to watch the sunrise over the horizon, and allowed your soul to recharge, remembering that everything else can be overcome, because you truly are invincible as long as you live. For me, that day was today, and those dreams of mine, will never be just dreams.
THE DREAMING TREE
Standing here
The old man said to me,
"Long before these crowded streets
Here stood my dreaming tree."
Below it he would sit
For hours at a time
Now progress takes away
What forever took to find
And now he's falling hard
He feels the falling dark
How he longs to be
Beneath his dreaming tree
Conquered fear to climb
A moment froze in time
When the girl who first he kissed
Promised him she'd be his
Remembered mother's words
There beneath the tree
"No matter what the world
You'll always be my baby."
"Mommy come quick,
The dreaming tree has died."
The air is growing thick
A fear he cannot hide
The dreaming tree has died
Oh, have you no pity?
This thing I do
I do not deny it
All through this smile
As crooked as danger
I do not deny
I know in my mind
I would leave you now
If I had the strength to
I would leave you up
To your own devices
Will you not talk?
Can you take pity?
I don't ask much
But won't you speak, please?
From the start
She knew she had it made
Easy up 'til then
For sure she'd make the grade
Adorers came in hordes
To lay down in her wake
Gave it all she had
But treasures slowly fade
Now she's falling hard
Feels the fall of dark
How did this fall apart?
She drinks to fill it up
A smile of sweetest flowers
Wilted so and soured
Black tears stain the cheeks
That once were so admired
She thinks when she was small
There on her father's knee
How he had promised her,
"You'll always be my baby."
"Daddy come quick,
The dreaming tree has died
I can't find my way home
There is no place to hide
The dreaming tree has died."
Oh, if I had the strength to
I would leave you up
To your own devices
Will you not talk?
Can you take pity?
I don't ask much
But won't you speak, please?
Take me back, take me back, take me back...
Save me please.
-Dave Matthews
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