Even The Poets Dare Not Dream About It (Part 2)

The power behind first love:

In retrospect, I seem to have given a lot of thought to the idea of "first love" and how much influence that person ends up having over your life. No matter how little your willing to admit, the first person you fall in love with, will forever effect your experiences in romance and relationships.

In my own experience, that person still holds an incredible amount of power over me. I find myself happily married and far beyond those days in Junior High School when love came knocking on my door, yet no matter how much time attempts to carry me forward through life, I continue to look back on that part of my history. I suppose it's because your first love is the one who literally molds your heart, prepares you for a life of love and heartache as you struggle to basically "practice" love on each other. it's therefore only natural I guess that for a heart they themselves molded, they would of course possess a key that fits perfectly into it's lock, giving her almost a free pass into the deepest parts of my soul, and there seems little I can do to stop that. (At least I can admit this.)

I simply don't understand it all I guess. It can be years, with no contact, but it only seems to take the mention of their name to bring a million emotions, and a thousand memories to the surface, to break down every barrier you've ever had to put up around your heart, in defense of ever having it shattered to pieces again. Like a Gothic castle covered with towers and ramparts, and yet one person in the world seems to know about the secret passage leading inside. Just hearing their voice can again conjure those magical spells they had woven around you when love first found it's way through your unsuspecting soul ( a voice it seems, you can listen to for hours on end). It can seem almost second nature to submit to their wishes and give into those spells again, and when you do cross paths, time seems to stand still, as if time is willing to grant a reprieve while you glance back through the past. It's like every cheesy "chick flick" and love song rolled up into a single storyline, filled with all the clichés our society would allow in one plot.

As time goes on, your tastes will change, your life will most definitely change and you'll move forward with existence, having a billion new experiences that will ultimately shape your person. You'll love again and you won't be capable of stopping yourself from comparing EVERY relationship to that first one, whether you consciously do or not. You'll most likely experience marriage, finding that one person your most comfortable sharing the rest of your life with, ultimately falling in love for the LAST time and forever turning your back on the nightmare of dating. However...there will always be a space reserved in your heart for that person who first taught you HOW to love, and WHY we do.

I think I finally realize now, that it just can't be helped, it's the power behind "first love".

I wish everyone is as lucky as I was, when they experience love for the first time...and for that, I can only thank her for helping to show me the way.