The Innocence Of Inspiration Lost

Inspiration for the creative, is like the lifeblood of their existence. To lose touch with such a gift, is like going deaf or blind, and endless hollow feeling in the deepest parts of one's essence. No one seems to know why inspiration ebbs and flows, but it seems at least possible, to find it once it's lost.

For me, I always wanted to be an artist, to create amazing beauty with nothing more then my own imagination. I guess that's what made it so easy for my teachers to push me so hard in public school, down that path that I seemed almost destined to travel. I wanted to make that passion for color and shape a career, making it a very easy choice to pursue a degree in the Fine Arts.

College however did little to encourage that inspiration. My art became work, it became a constant series of trials designed to prepare me for a life of artistic compromise at the hands of corporate executives and fickle clients. Although I finished school with pride in my heart and the drive to succeed at that which I always strived to become, I had lost my innocence. Art was no longer my escape from reality, it was the bane of that reality. No longer was playing with color and shape a chance to express myself, it was a job, that although it paid the bills, it did little to help me find the quiet inside my mind.

I'd like to tell you that there's an easy fix, that a single event can simply open the flood gates, and all those unique thoughts that once motivated your creativity will come cascading back into your consciousness, but that would be a lie. I can tell you, that it will return, even if in short bursts, it will come to you, especially when you least expect it to. After all, it never really left, it only went on holiday. I've found that events in your life will trigger the ebbs and flows, while an illness can sap it from you, the trials of that experience can just as easily return them to you when it's over. The loss of a loved one can make a soul go numb with pain, but those memories you shared can bring forth new ideas and renewed motivation.

My advice, never give up on what inspires you to be creative. It was always there for you, be there for "it" when the inspiration returns to your veins. Sometimes it can be a struggle, almost like your forcing it, that's just the habit forming, tomorrow it could be second nature again.

For me, I tend to find my inspiration not in a crowded Art Department, developing next year's hot selling soccer ball, but in painting and drawing for others. This past Christmas, I did a piece for my unofficial brother-in-law as a gift. I took a few days of well deserve peace, and I was happier for it. I found my REAL imagination that week, not the formally educated and corporate influenced nonsense I'm forced to tap each and every day.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: Don't give up on it, it will be there when it's time.